Outer Order = Inner Calm
“There's no "right" or "best" way to create a better life.
Nevertheless, while each of us may define and achieve outer order in different ways, it's clear that for most people, outer order does indeed contribute to inner calm.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter & Organize to Make More Room for Happiness
Two things to know about me:
One: Once I begin a project, I like to finish it. Whether it is writing a sermon or purging a junk drawer, my achiever nature longs to see the finished product.
Two: I have very little patience regarding how much time it may take me to complete a task through to the end.
It has been with dogged intensity that I have worked through our house over the past two weeks. I struggled to turn off the switch of my mind regarding what I wanted to accomplish. Even Kemper said to me one evening, “mom I think you should probably take a break, you’ve been doing this all day.” He was right. I began in my bedroom, needing it to be a space of sanctuary to retire at the end of each day. Then I moved on, little by little throughout the house, combing through drawers and closets both purging and storing at the same time. I moved furniture and switched artwork around. I moved bins and emptied boxes only to fill them again.
The house was spotless when we moved back in (thank you SO much), but we blew through like a tornado. I am pleased to say that slowly but surely, the wreckage has been cleared. I would shuffle a pile from one room to the next, having to remind myself that everything would have its place in due time. I just felt like I couldn’t focus on anything else until the house felt like home again.
To do so was to create space for Michael’s mementos and memory to be sprinkled throughout the house. The Legos, the books, the pictures. His treasures have become our treasures. Although I will say, if I never see another box of cords, or unidentifiable (to me) tools or tech, it will not hurt my feelings. My hope is that these things will remind us of all the good memories we shared as a family and to be surrounded by things that represented all that he loved. And nothing was more cherished by Michael than us. So, I imagine that even though he would wish that I knew exactly what all those cords go to, or how to utilize all his gadgets in the kitchen, more than anything else, he would want us to be happy in our home.
And so, outer order brings inner calm. The more I sorted and organized, the more I felt a sense of peace. Accomplishment and pride, yes, but also confident tranquility.
We’ll be okay.